March 29, 2011

Life is all about change---and having faith in the One who brings it...

So many things in this life are really uncertain each day. We are never guaranteed our next breath and every moment is precious. So why do I waste so much of my time on things that are unimportant? Life has changed so much here over the past months that I cannot begin to understand why they had to happen the way they did. One thing I know for certain is that there is a lot of change going on inside of myself. Mostly introspection (is that even a word?) I never would have thought that having cable and seeing things like Hoarders and What not to Wear (I know it's crazy) could bring about some positive personal changes and painful realizations, but nonetheless here we are. Looking around me I see so much of the way my own negativity has been very destructive to my family and to myself. A couple of months ago I would have told you that my only purpose in this life is to mother my child and be a good wife. While both of those are true, they were also discounting who I am as a person and what my capabilities really are. Just thinking in such a manner can lead to stereotypical duties and my own free spirit just wanted to strike back and rebel at those things. However, I have to accept that those are a part of who I am not a whole of who I am. I discovered that the things I buy and the the things I wear were reflecting my need to find something more in life. I love my family and will gladly and willingly lay down my life for them regardless of the situation. But I found that poorly managing my time and attitudes with little regard for God's word and constant control of my life were contributing to my feeling so very much alone in the midst of all my friends and family. God is working a big change in me and purging me from the inside. He is pushing me to limits and possibilities I never thought possible. In essence, I am growing up a little more. Next school year will bring about one of the biggest changes and uncertainties I have ever experienced. My plan to homeschool my child is something I know God requires of me, and I pray that I have the faith in Him to make it through each day one day at a time. So many battles and struggles are fought each day inside and out that I have to take life one day at a time and pray that God will see me through it. I pray that my very good friends, of whom I count my husband first and foremost, will always be there, but most of all I know that God is there and in control. He will calm that storm that rages inside of me through all these changes. Scott Krippayne said "sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He calms His child." Lately Casting Crowns song "That's what Faith can Do" has had a huge impact on my life as well. Here are the lyrics for you. I love them and daily sing them...


Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You do have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise